Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Help with ex

Hey, guys.  Thanks for being willing to look over this.  I know it’s a weird place to put it, but I want it somewhere accessible, so if you know someone who can give us some advice on how to help Alyx, they can see it, too.  If you stumbled across this accidentally, this isn’t actually a blog, so move along.  In a nut shell, Charlie is worried about his daughter.  Danielle (his ex) has sole physical custody, and Charlie gets her five weeks in the summer and either Christmas or Thanksgiving.  But you know that, so here are the texts and emails I was telling you about that show Danielle being unstable, admitting to anger issues, saying she’s not good for her daughter, frequently committing adultery (normally no one cares, but she has top security clearance in the Air Force, so she’s playing a dangerous game on top of teaching Alyx that she doesn’t have to be faithful), and I’m also including the evidence we have that she committed perjury when she filed her petition to have Charlie’s legal custody removed.

I’ll be honest; we contacted Ft. Meade, the Air Force base in Maryland where she works and told them about our concerns with Danielle’s behavior.  All we asked was that they check in on Alyx.  I was told that if Alyx is covered in bruises, to call CPS, but that since they lived off base, it wasn’t their problem.  Since CPS does not deal with emotional abuse, we’re trying to figure out what we can do for Alyx when she’s here with us to minimize emotional problems.  Part of the problem is that, while we know that Alyx is telling the truth most of the time, her mom is showing by example that it’s ok to lie, so we may eventually hit a point where we won’t know what’s true or not anymore.  Part of the problem is that Danielle seems to also have a faulty memory.  She will tell Charlie one thing, then a year later describe something completely different.  But I’ll go into detail better when we get to those texts/emails.  Also, you will be seeing her as Danielle Stamp, Danielle Maze, and maybe Danielle Dye.  It’s all her.  Danielle Maze is before and after Charlie, and Danielle Dye is right now.                         

So with that, I guess we should dive in so you can see what we’re dealing with and what would help Alyx.  If you have friends or family who have experience with this kind of thing, you’re welcome to show this to them.  We just want Alyx to grow up emotionally healthy.  I also want to really quick mention that Charlie knows he made a mistake for staying with her for so long, or even marrying her to begin with.  They were young, he thought he could help her, and as the years went on, she started getting emotionally and even physically abusive.  She convinced him he deserved to be treated like that because he wasn’t a good enough husband, blaming him for her cheating.  He knows he messed up.  We just need to figure out how to keep the damages to a minimum when it comes to his daughter.  I apologize in advance.  The first giant chunk is going to deal with her problem with being unfaithful and promiscuity.  I promise this whole thing isn’t just “Danielle is a whore.”  I include it because it’s having an effect on Alyx, and because Danielle has flat out said she can’t stop herself from being promiscuous, which is alarming in and of itself.

This one shows a confession by her that she had self-destructive tendencies.  Those tendencies were sexual promiscuity and occasional self harm.  Charlie once saw her go into a corner and start banging her head over and over into the wall because she was having a melt down.Danielle Dye 1.PNG
In Summer/Fall of 2009, Danielle began an affair with a fellow airmen named Michael.  It was a little bizarre, because Michael was actually married, and Jess seemed to know about the affair.  Danielle made a comment to Charlie once that hinted she had tried a threesome with them.  Anyway, in November, right after telling Charlie she wanted a divorce, she and Michael took Alyx to the hospital and said they thought Charlie was molesting her.  A no contact order was put in place by the Air Force, and Danielle took Alyx and moved into Michael’s place.  Surprise, surprise.  Anyway, the case was dropped within weeks, since Alyx had no signs of being molested.  I want to point out, just because it pisses me off, after the case was dropped, Danielle started leaving Alyx alone at night with Charlie so she could spend the nights at Michael’s house.  Yup, she definitely thought he molested her daughter…  Sorry, tangent.  the point is that this next text conversation is her admitting that things got bad between her and Charlie because she was coming home in Michael’s pants.  After spending the night.  Multiple times.  She then said he was making it “all about him” when he said that it upset him.
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The conversation dissolved into this…

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Charlie had been a stay at home dad for a year and a half.  Danielle requested he leave Christmas day, since she was the one paying for his flight, and it was cheaper that day.  So on Christmas, he left Hawaii.  Danielle told him that she wanted to see how he would do on his own, and that she wanted to wait to finish filing the divorce papers until she was sure she wanted a divorce.  So they remained married while she dated Michael.  She denied ever having sex with him (since the military supposedly frowns on that when you’re married) but she eventually came clean with Charlie during this conversation.
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While she was dating Michael, the Air Force moved her to Maryland.  A few months after moving, she started having trouble with the long distance thing.  She told Charlie that “it was happening again,” meaning what happened when she left him for Michael.  This one is kind of weird because she makes it sound like she really feels she can’t stop herself from being unfaithful.  
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Only about a week later, she apparently was struggling because she wanted Charlie back.  Charlie never did find out who the guy was that she had cheated on Michael with.  That was pretty much the only time she ever even mentioned him, and apparently a week later she wasn’t interested in him anymore anyway.
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I know that missing your ex isn’t a crime, especially since she at this point still wasn’t sure she really wanted a divorce, but I post all this to show her unstable bouncing from guy to guy within weeks of each other.  The date of the last text conversation is Oct. 12.  About a week later, she told Charlie she wanted to get back together and they officially became a couple again.  What I’m going to put next is something we accidentally stumbled across.  When we had Alyx in 2013, Danielle sent her out with an iPod that was logged into Danielle’s email.  Alyx would pull up the compose and type things as practice spelling.  One day she brought me the iPod and asked me to read what was on the screen.  I thought it would be something she typed up.  I was wrong.  She had opened something Danielle had saved from 2010.  It was an email backup of a text she had sent to Doug.  It mentioned Charlie.  While I’m not proud of it, I printed off the email and forwarded it to Charlie.  
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That’s dated Oct. 31st.  It wasn’t until three days later that she told Charlie she didn’t think they should stay together.  Based on the timeline, this would have been sent to Doug.  Doug was someone that was “just a friend.”  Charlie even met him when he went out to visit Danielle the last week of October.  I was curious as to what she meant when she told Doug she “had an idea” when it came to Charlie, so I looked up the breakup talk.  Because she was a peach and broke up with him via text.  Real classy.  Anyway, about three days after telling Doug she wanted to be with him now, she told Charlie that she loved him and wanted to be with him, but that she would always worry that he had molested Alyx, and she had to love Alyx more.  We have that text conversation, too, but for the sake of time, I won’t put it here.

In November, only a couple weeks after having gotten back together with Charlie and dumping him again, Doug moved in.  It wasn’t long lasting, however.  By Feb of the next year, they were already having problems.  Doug was struggling with depression, and if there’s one thing she’s not good at, it’s sticking by someone who needs support.  Charlie was also worried about her saying that Doug was “high on meds” because he couldn’t handle the stress of their situation.
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By March she was wanting to break up with Doug.  She realized that she was burning through men faster than the average person and that it would have a negative impact on AlyxDanielle Dye 13.PNG
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In April of 2011, Danielle brought Alyx to Charlie so he could take care of her while Danielle was deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months.  While there, she told Charlie that things were not getting better with Doug and that she wanted to hold off on the divorce until after she got back from deployment.  She wanted to try getting back together.  Charlie agreed.  But Danielle did not break up with Doug.  In fact, she told Charlie that she was using the deployment as an opportunity to date.
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While she was deployed, Charlie also found out she had also signed up on eHarmony.  It was pretty obvious she really had no intention of working on their marriage, so he started looking into how much it would cost to file for divorce himself.  Deciding he was done having her claim she wanted to stay married only to have her run into another man’s arms, he signed up on a religious dating site.  As most of you know, that’s where he met me.  He was honest from the get go.  He told me he was married, but that she had lived with two guys since they separated and was actively dating.  He told me that he was currently working on saving up to file for divorce.  A few days before he sent Danielle the divorce paperwork, she called him on the phone, upset.  Apparently she had been seeing someone intimately named Mark.  He had gone home, and instead of staying with Danielle, had decided to work things out WITH HIS WIFE.  Charlie keeps telling me that most people in the Air Force really are good people, but seeing how many coworkers have slept with Danielle who either were married or knew she was married really turns me off to people in fatigues.  Anyway, she was devastated and was telling Charlie that now she had no one and was so lonely.  Undaunted, Charlie sent her the paperwork anyway.
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The reason she made the jab that Charlie “can’t manage to provide for her the rest of the year,” is because she was paying for Alyx’s daycare, then would give him a 200 dollar “allowance” each month  She did not refer to it as child support.  It was Charlie’s “allowance” to spend on things for Alyx.  There’s a text conversation where Charlie makes a comment that the 200 dollars is to help with things like Alyx’s food, rent for an appt with a second room, gas to get to daycare, etc. and Danielle got pissy and said that he needs to start paying for things, too.  Because yeah, 200 bucks totally covers all the costs of a 3 year old…

Shortly after, Charlie decided it was time to let Danielle know about me.  It was my second time visiting, I believe.  Alyx had only known me for a few weeks, and I was visiting during a time her mom was going to webcam with her.  Alyx introduced me to her mom, and Danielle and I chatted briefly.  Danielle’s texts to Charlie after that absolutely shocked me.
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Keep in mind, this is coming from the woman who had told Charlie she was using deployment as a chance to date, and had sex with at least two married men during their separation.  But as you can see in this next conversation, she’s sticking to the story that she had wanted to get back together.

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The thing that makes me angry about that one is that she justifies leaving him with “but i always came back to you.”  ...Really?  Sorry, I’m trying to keep this short and just briefly explain conversations, but this one really gets under my skin.  And the whole “When I left I thought this was going to be a final thing to see how it worked.”  To see how what worked?!  She flat out told Charlie that she was actively dating AND HAVING SEX WITH other men!  Why exactly is he an awful person for finally standing up for himself and refusing to let her jerk him around?  Anyway, rant over.

I’m going to go on a little bit more with the promiscuous problem, but I want to interject briefly that her comments in the last two conversations also show memory problems.  She states that she could never bring herself to finish the divorce.  That was NOT what happened exactly.  It’s true that she didn’t decide to finish the divorce until the time frame to finish it was almost up (one year).  She had waited until the last possible moment.  Charlie had a friend that was taking a trip to Hawaii, where the divorce had been initially filed, and she agreed to take the completed paperwork with her and drop it off herself at the courthouse to ensure it got there in time.  The deadline was missed, and Danielle blamed Charlie.  I’ll post the text conversations for that later.  Just want to point it out so you’ll remember that here she states she chose to never finish it because she couldn’t bring herself to leave Charlie.

So after telling Charlie how devastated she was that he was divorcing her, she doesn’t skip a beat in the dating scene.  Beginning of January, a whopping couple weeks after returning home, Danielle is already dating a guy named Michael.
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Notice that she tells Charlie Alyx has already met the guy.  But when Charlie let Alyx meet me first it was the most horrible thing he’d ever done.  Anyway, this is when Charlie first found out she was dating Second Michael.  I guess things didn’t work out with Second Michael, because in March she apparently was dating a guy named Tyler.  According to Danielle, he stayed with her a couple days so they could see how things would go,  This happened while Alyx was with us for our wedding, which would place it roughly March 10th.  Then in April, Danielle told us she was seeing Brian.  The reason why this matters is also more than just her man-hopping.  Danielle isn’t consistent in her story on this one, either.
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Unsure if she actually doesn’t remember dating Michael or Tyler, or if she doesn’t remember that she told Charlie about them and decided to conveniently not mention them, especially since if what she said here is true, she basically was cheating on Brian from the get go.  But this took place right after she told Charlie she has basically no memories for the entire year before her deployment, so maybe she really doesn’t remember them… Which is almost more alarming.  Anyway, I’ll post the rest of that conversation later.

Charlie and I were married March of 2012, and about a month later we had Alyx for five months.  The divorce decree says that Charlie gets her for five weeks each summer, but Danielle was trying to decide what she wanted to do with her life, and felt until she decided it was best for Alyx to stay with Charlie and me.  One of the first things she asked us was why her mom and dad got divorced.  We told her it wasn’t something for her to worry about, and her response was “My mommy said it’s because my daddy doesn’t love her anymore.”  And after everything Danielle did, she really did stick to that story.  She kept periodically messaging Charlie, telling him how hard the divorce was on her and that she was struggling to move on.
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I want to interject briefly here that Danielle had asked Charlie to give up legal custody when she first filed for divorce so she could move overseas if she wanted, so her saying here that she could be moving to England with Alyx and he wouldn’t know felt kind of like a threat.  I also have to say that her being a cry baby about Charlie not caring about her is such crap.  He cared about her quite a bit, and until an incident that I will get to shortly that took place in 2013, they texted and talked regularly about everyday life.  I’ll admit, he didn’t want to.  He was and still is terrified of her, but if she started a conversation, he always responded and was always friendly.  He has massive amounts of texts saved that show he was very informed in Danielle’s personal life.  He would ask questions, give advice, and listen to her vent.  This text conversation annoyed me to no end.  We could prove a hundred times over that he tried hard to be a friend to her even after marrying me.  Moving on...
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The time frame of that last one is about the time Alyx told us her mom was cheating on Brian.  We had her the first of April through the end of September.  It was about June, I think, when she told us that there was a guy that would come over all the time and would spend the night often.  She said they would cuddle on the couch, kissed a couple times in front of her, and even said I love you to each other.  She said the guy wanted to marry Danielle, but Danielle insisted that she still wanted to marry Brian.  Danielle, of course, adamantly denied it.  The first couple conversations are before we got Alyx to talk to Danielle about the guy.  She told Danielle that she just felt she wouldn’t stay married to Brian.  The last conversation is Danielle’s response when we sent a video to her of Alyx talking about her mom cheating.
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Sorry I keep interjecting, but I know you guys will forgive me.  I just want to vent for a second about Danielle asking if Charlie thinks it’s because Alyx remembers them being unhappy… Really?  She doesn’t think it’s because she left Charlie and moved in with Michael?  And after leaving Michael had Doug move in with her?  And after dumping Doug during her deployment, came home and told her daughter that she and Charlie were getting divorced because “your daddy doesn’t love me anymore?” Then dated a different Michael, then was with Brian?  Alyx wasn’t worried about Charlie and me because I’m the only girl Charlie dated after Danielle kicked him out in ‘09.  And because Danielle has anger issues that affect her relationships.  Actually, before I post Danielle’s response to Alyx’s claim that she was cheating on Brian, I want to post something different.  You saw earlier where Danielle said she didn’t want to keep bringing men into Alyx’s life.  Well there’s a different conversation where Charlie was reminding her that the flow of men wasn’t good for Alyx, and Danielle’s response was much less concerned.  I’m also including the brief conversation before Charlie brings it up, because it leaves one going “Wtf….?”
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And just as a reference, the “been with one guy” is referring since she was deployed.  She also told Charlie that she’d been with one guy since being deployed the same day she told him she finally broke up with Doug.  Which means she was cheating on Doug.  Here, she all of a sudden isn’t concerned about the line of men.  “Don’t worry, they’re all still my best friends!”  The other thing that screams at us is the quality of men she sometimes picks.  In this last conversation, she says she’s still friends with Michael.  Michael and Danielle were abusive to each other.  Danielle had implied that there was physical violence on both sides, but Charlie hadn’t pried, hoping that he misinterpreted and that she meant something more metaphorical.  After she broke up with Michael and told Charlie she wanted to work on their marriage again, she told Charlie there was a particular night where they were fighting and things turned really ugly.  She never flat out said that they physically assaulted each other, but last year, during the conversation where she was talking about having trouble remembering things, she finally admitted that Michael was physically abusive.
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Normally, I’d say she might be lying, after all, she’s lied about Charlie plenty, but Charlie knew Michael somewhat, and says he has a temper to match Danielle’s, and Danielle hit Charlie several times.  So the concern?  That she would continue to let someone around her daughter that is physically abusive.  Still friends with him?  Seriously?  Don’t get me wrong, Charlie highly doubts he was the only one throwing punches, but that only makes it worse.  Was Alyx home?  Did she see this happen?  Did she see this happen regularly?

Ok, that was a mega tangent.  Hope I haven’t confused you guys too much.  Timeline itself really isn’t that important; we’re just hoping you can give us some advice on how to help Alyx, and really, I probably don’t need to be this specific.  You guys are probably going crazy reading this.  Or maybe you’ve got popcorn and you feel like you’re watching The Young and the Restless.  If I weren’t involved in all this, I’d actually love reading this kind of drama.  Not because I’m into soap operas, mind you, but because I love a good psychological challenge.  :)  So where was I… Ah, yes.  Danielle’s response to Alyx saying she was cheating.

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The sad thing thing about this conversation is that she claims she’s been 100% loyal to Brian.  This conversation took place towards the end of a six month time period in which Danielle was in Florida going to school for her job.  While she was there, she admitted to Brian that she had gotten cuddly and cozy with a fellow airman.  She insisted that they didn’t have sex, but they did get cozy with each other.

Ok, since I finished that line of thought, I’m going to go ahead and just really quick touch a little more on the memory thing.  This is the first part of that conversation where she says she doesn’t remember an entire year.
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Brian told Charlie that Danielle told him she had forgotten she was serious with Doug.  Which is bizarre, because they lived together for about five months, which included during the time frame in question during the conversation.  How do you forget that?  And how do you forget an entire year?  And as I pointed out before, even when she doesn’t have gaps, she often remembers things wrong.  Like claiming she never finished the divorce paperwork.  That hurt Charlie to hear, because when his friend, Anna, didn’t get the paperwork in on time, he got a serious earful from Danielle.
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This next clip is Charlie’s and Anna’s conversation over the same time frame.  Danielle was riding Charlie to make sure Anna got the paperwork in, since the deadline was so close.
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Danielle was furious.  Strangely, she seems to have no memory of that.  Not only does she not seem to remember it, but she told Charlie a completely different story in it’s place, that she only got to “step two of five,” and that she couldn’t bring herself to finish the paperwork.  That’s more than a little memory problem.  She’s literally remembering entire events completely different than they actually took place.

Jumping back to the guy-hopping...

Anyway, that basically leads us to now.  Towards the end of November last year, we met Danielle and Alyx in Boston when we took Zeph to see the doctor who diagnosed Zeph with EDS.  We met them at a park.  As we walked past Danielle’s car to where Danielle and Alyx were standing, Charlie saw Doug (the very same one that Danielle had dated before being deployed) hiding in the back seat.  He saw him briefly, then Doug ducked out of view.  Obviously hiding.  Anyway, it was a huge red flag, especially since as we were playing with Alyx, she was like “yeah, Doug drove us here.  He comes over all the time.”  But Brian was still stationed in Nebraska, so we figured Danielle was just taking advantage of his absence.  Again.  When Christmas rolled around and Alyx came out to visit, Doug’s number was in her phone, but not Brian’s.  I asked why that was the case, and Alyx said “I don’t know.  I guess we didn’t have time to put it in.”  We asked her how she felt about her mom and Brian, if she felt better about them being together or if she was still worried about the divorcing.  She said that she wasn’t worried anymore.  I asked if Doug being around all the time made her nervous.  “No,” she said, “because my mom says he’s just a friend.  Brian knows about him and they’ll be friends when Brian moves to live with us.”  New Year’s Eve, Danielle webcammed with Alyx.  From Doug’s family’s’ home in New York.  After Alyx went home, we almost immediately started seeing Doug in the background every time we webcammed with her.  The end of January was approaching and Brian still hadn’t moved in.  So we asked Alyx if he was still moving to Maryland.  She suddenly looked away from the computer and said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
   So Charlie contacted Brian.  Danielle had told him she wanted a divorce IN OCTOBER!!  Alyx had no idea.  Better yet, Charlie asked Alyx in May if Doug was living with them.  She told us her mom had told her to keep it a secret.  So Charlie confronted Danielle.  She openly and shamelessly admitted that she had been dating Doug BEFORE telling Alyx about the divorce and that he had moved in THE SAME TIME that Alyx found out her mom was getting a divorce.
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Danielle also failed to mention that she had moved a man, Douglas Evert, into the home until Charlie flat out asked her a good four months after the fact.  Also, I would like to point out that she makes it sound like she discussed the situation with the school.  Understandably upset that her teachers would see nothing wrong with a guy moving in the same time she finds time her mom is getting a divorce (by the way, the divorce has NOT been filed yet and won’t be until October), Charlie emailed her teacher demanding an explanation for why they would think that’s ok.  The teacher didn’t seem to know about it.  Danielle basically admitted to Brian that she left him to be with Doug, telling him that she “felt more married” to Doug than him.  Which is ridiculous, considering how flippantly she dumped Doug before.

So right now, she’s living with Doug while married.  Again.  In MD there’s a one year separation period that’s required before you can file for a no fault divorce.  A week ago, we picked up Alyx from the airport.  When Charlie wandered off to get something, Alyx turned to me and said, “I miss Brian.”  I did nothing to instigate the statement.  It was totally out of the blue.  And apparently her mom had come clean with her, because she then said “I can’t believe my mom kept it a secret for 2 MONTHS that she was leaving him!  And that she was secretly dating Doug!  That’s such a bad thing to do to Brian!”  She ranted for a good five minutes about how hurt she was that her mom lied to her and to Brian.  She also said “You don’t date someone when you’re with someone else.  You break up with them first!  My mom was wrong to do that.”  

Ok, I think I’m done with the rampant guy topic.  I know it’s not a crime to be a slut, but it can most definitely be a sign of mental illness.  Especially since she’s made comments about not being able to stop herself.  She makes it sound like she literally can’t stop herself from jumping from guy to guy.  It’s pretty messed up.  Not to mention what it does to Alyx.  The poor girl is going to have some serious abandonment issues, not to mention have no idea how to have a happy and long lasting relationship or marriage.  Charlie gets her a whopping 6 weeks out of the year.  Her mom has far more sway over what she sees.  Half the time Danielle is all like “I wouldn’t do that to Alyx.  I don’t want her to see men come and go in her life.”  the next minute she’s all “It’s good.  Alyx is totally cool with it, so it’s ok.”  And no, Alyx isn’t ok with it.  She told us she’s too scared to tell her mom that she misses Brian.

I think I’ll move to Danielle’s anger issues.  Even though her anger is a problem, this section won’t be near as long.  Mostly will just have a few clips showing her wig out and a couple where she admits to having anger issues.  She did hit Charlie several times when they were married, one of those times being an extremely powerful kick in the groin.  She hinted that she was physical with Michael, and we know she hit Brian at least once.  Alyx told us that her mom slapped her once and would throw things at her.  I know that sometimes kids will lie to the other parent when they’re divorced, but to this day, two years after telling us, Alyx still insists it’s true.  She said her mom doesn’t physically hurt her anymore, but she still lashes out emotionally.  She told us the other day that once, after she and her mom had a big fight, she went to apologize to mom, and her mom ran into the bathroom and locked herself in, saying “I don’t want to look at you right now!”  Alyx said that such behavior is fairly common for Danielle, and Charlie knows Danielle well enough to know that it’s definitely the kind of thing she would do.

Her temper was mentioned in a prior conversation, where Charlie tells her that the reason he doesn’t like chit chatting with her is because he’s scared of her temper.  Here are some conversations where Danielle admits she has a temper and that it’s not healthy for Alyx.
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This next one was Danielle’s response when Charlie told her Alyx was begging for us not to send her back to Danielle, saying that she was terrified of her mom.

This next one needs a little context.  When Charlie had Alyx while Danielle was deployed, Ruth, Danielle’s mom helped quite a bit with Alyx.  For a while, she was picking up Alyx from daycare everyday and then watching her until Charlie was off work.  Danielle asked Ruth if she would be a bad mom if she volunteered for another deployment, keeping her away from her daughter for a total of two years.  Ruth was honest with her and said yes, that she chose to bring a child into the world and that it was her job to help Charlie raise her, not Ruth’s.  She told her that Alyx was her responsibility, and to volunteer for something that would keep her away from her very young daughter for that long was bad parenting.  This was Danielle’s response to that.

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The whole “You could have killed her” thing is in regard to an incident where Alyx got into some excedrin while Charlie was watching her shortly before they separated.  Charlie had been laid up in bed with an injured knee, and Danielle had run out for a few minutes.  Charlie could hear Alyx playing on the stairs, so he thought she was fine.  Turned out she had a baggie of excedrin.  She didn’t eat much, and other than vomiting a couple times, she was fine.  The hospital kept her for a day and a half for observation.  Danielle has held that over Charlie’s head ever since.  In fact, in the conversation where she says “you hurt me first,” that’s what she’s referring to.  She told Charlie that he betrayed her by letting Alyx get into the exedrin.  She even once accused him of knowing she had taken it and lying about it.  Because, you know, he handed her the baggie and told her to eat as many as she could before her mom got home.  And that’s sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.  I also love how she says that she’s been on her own with Alyx for over a year.  Charlie tried several times to get Danielle to let him have Alyx for visitation.  Anytime he’d suggest Alyx coming to stay with him, she’d accuse him of trying to take Alyx away from her.  Here’s one where she FINALLY agrees to letting him have Alyx stay at his place overnight, then gets weird, changes to plan, claims that she didn’t change the plan, then freaks on him when he fights for his right to have her for a night.  Keep in mind at this point, he’s only physically been in the same place as Alyx for two weeks in a year’s time, and that was only because Danielle had asked him to come visit her because she wanted to get back together with him.
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Charlie worried quite a bit about Alyx and Danielle.  Alyx would often have trouble sleeping.  One particular time that scared Charlie was when this conversation happened.
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After having experienced Danielle’s anger, he knew the “I’m going to wind up hurting her” wasn’t an empty threat.  He worried often that Danielle would snap and hit Alyx.  This next one is a clip from the Hawaii CPS report from Danielle’s accusations.  It’s a short two-liner written by the case worker about his second interview with Danielle.

I have a hard time getting past the case worker jumping from talking third to first person in that first sentence, but you get the idea.  Danielle told him Charlie was scared of her and admitted to anger issues.  I can’t imagine knowing you scare your husband but refusing to seek help.

Now to something that’s a little weird.  In 2013, we ended up calling CPS on Danielle.  One day, Alyx was playing, and she was pretending she was going to her boyfriend’s house.  She was pretending she was topless, telling me that she wasn’t wearing a shirt to his house because it was ok for boyfriends to see your boobs.  When I asked her what made her think that, I was informed that she knew it was true because Danielle would have Alyx take pictures of her topless to send to Brian.  She proceeded to show me the poses her mom used.  When I told her she needed to not take pictures like that, she said “You don’t understand.  My mom can’t hold the camera when she poses like this.  She needs me to do it.”  Unfortunately, by the time she got back to MD, she was too scared to tell the CPS workers about it, so the case was dropped.  Again, I know that children do sometimes get creative, but I’m going to show you why we believe her.

This picture was taken during that same summer.  There were MANY others like it, but I was an idiot and only saved one.  When Alyx and Danielle would talk on the webcam, Danielle would pull sexy poses and Alyx would take screen shots.  I know it doesn’t prove anything, but if she was having Alyx take pictures like this on my google account, what kind of pictures would she have her take in the privacy of her own home?  Another reason we worry is because Danielle has no sense of modesty.  As in, she doesn’t care who sees her naked.  We were webcamming with Alyx last year, and Danielle came into her room with dinner.  She wasn’t wearing pants.  I saw her fully on from the front.  I thought, “what the...surely she’s wearing underwear.  I can’t possibly be looking at her vagina.”  Then she turned around and bent over.  And I saw her butt.  There was no underwear.  The woman was wearing NOTHING BUT A SHIRT while standing in front of the computer.  I literally saw her half naked.  So once again, if she has no problem letting Charlie and I see her lady parts on the webcam, would she really have a problem with Alyx taking pics of her?

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And there’s also the following conversation from when she was dating the first Michael.  Again, Charlie’s embarrassed he didn’t call her out on it, but at the time she had been hinting that she might want to be with him again and he didn’t want to ruin it.  Looking back through all this has actually been pretty hard on him.  He wishes he had stood up to her more.  Anyway, while dating Michael, Danielle was sending pictures of herself to Charlie.  She was naked.
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It makes him nervous that she specifically points out that it would be better if she didn’t have to hold the phone.  Then Alyx just happens to mention that she would take pictures of her mom topless.  It also bothers him that she said the pictures were to “show off to people far away.”  She didn’t say, “they’re for you” or “they’re for you and Michael.”  No, she said “people.”  Dude, what people?  Is that normal?  I mean, maybe lots of people take naked pictures of themselves and pass them around.  Maybe I’m just stuffy and old fashioned.  Anyway, we have a copy of the texas CPS report.  In it, she told them that she didn’t have Alyx take pictures and that Charlie was probably feeding her information.  That’s right.  She put it on Charlie.  After the investigation was over, she said this to Charlie:

Let’s just say for a second that Danielle is telling the truth here and Alyx didn’t take those pictures.  She failed to mention to CPS that she had talked with Alyx (who would have been 4 at the time) about boyfriends being allowed to see your boobs, and she sure as heck didn’t say “Yeah, she’s seen me posing topless, but don’t worry, she didn’t take the picture.”  Nope.  Instead she told them Charlie told her to say it.  As far as I’m concerned, posing where her daughter can see or letting her daughter see the pictures is not really any better.

And that leaves us with the perjury.  Just in case you guys have someone else read this, I’ll give a brief overview.  Last year, after our son suffered a broken leg and Charlie was accused of abuse, Danielle didn’t want to send Alyx out for her summer visitation.  CPS had requested we be supervised, so we had family living with us.  Charlie wasn’t allowed to be alone with the kids.  Danielle said that the supervision would be too stressful for Alyx and requested we try to shoot for her visitation towards the end up summer to try and avoid the supervision.  It wasn’t lifted in time, and Danielle refused to send Alyx out.  Our CPS case worker told us that Danielle wasn’t allowed to just withhold Alyx without a court order and that we needed to get an attorney and file for contempt.  So we did.  After she was served with papers, Danielle filed a petition to have the custody agreement changed. She has asked for Charlie to lose his legal custody and for him to be allowed two weeks supervised visitation each summer.  He would either go to Maryland and visit Alyx in Danielle’s home, or Danielle’s family here in Texas would keep Alyx for two weeks and Charlie could go visit her there.  Currently, Charlie has not been convicted of child abuse.  Charges were filed last summer, but Zeph has since been diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.  Our medical specialist is a world known specialist in bone metabolism.  Our attorney is confident that Charlie will not be found guilty.  Anyway, the point is that Danielle made a move to strip Charlie of his legal custody and put permanent supervised visitation in place BEFORE a guilty verdict.  And when Zeph received the EDS diagnosis, she called Charlie to let him know that even if he wasn’t found guilty of abuse, she wanted to proceed with the removal of his custody.

So now, I will present to you Danielle’s “evidence” that Charlie is a dangerous parent and should not be allowed to be alone with his daughter at any time.

The first one:
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Rachel did claim that Charlie had raped her, but there was no evidence to support it and Charlie adamantly denied it.  On top of her claiming Charlie was raping her, she accused their father of leaving her home alone for days at a time with no food, and was accusing her mother of similar neglect.  Charlie’s sister is crazy.  We could get a dozen affidavits from family members easily that say she has lied about every single person she’s been in contact with.  There’s a family member that refuses to be alone with her for any period of time because of her false accusations.  Since she has made countless accusations against countless family members, there’s no reason to believe she was telling the truth on this one.  No charges were filed against Charlie, and while CPS took the report as required by law, they put no safety plan in place and determined nothing was happening in the home.  And we can prove there was no criminal case.  Charlie lived in Texas during this time.  Texas tries 17 year olds as adults, especially in felony cases, which this would have been.  This would not have been a juvi case, it would not have been sealed, and it would still very much be part of the record.  Charlie lived in Galveston at the time.  If you care to take a look for yourselves, just go to their criminal case search and type in Charles Stamp.  Nothing pulls up because there was no case.  Charlie NEVER admitted to Danielle that this happened, and there was NEVER a criminal case.  If there was, it would be public.  End of story.  This is a blatant lie.  Not only that, but juvenile or not, if he had been found guilty of sexual assault, he would have been put on a sex offender list, and since the victim would have been 12, it would have been for life.

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Charlie had never told Danielle he had thoughts of having sex with kids.  That’s just her making crap up.  The thing is, that in her petition, she makes it sound like the hospital agreed with her allegations.  The hospital found nothing wrong.
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We have a copy of the entire CPS investigation.  The hospital found no evidence of molestation, which is what they informed CPS.
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Just an fyi, the “family friend” she’s referring to is Michael.  She had spent the night at his house that night, showed up at home the next morning, grabbed Alyx, accused Charlie of molesting her, then she and Michael went to the hospital.  It really bothered Charlie that Danielle would refer to Michael as “a family friend” every time she was seen with him or talking about him.  He was a coworker she was having an affair with.  He was no friend of Charlie’s.  When the Air Force put a no contact order on Charlie, Danielle picked Michael to be her liaison between her and Charlie.  When Charlie told Danielle’s First Sargeant that he didn’t want their go-between to be the man she was having an affair with, explaining that she was openly dating Michael (people who knew Charlie and Danielle would occasionally mention that they had seen Danielle and “her new boyfriend” out and about), the First Sargeant’s response was to tell Danielle to be more discreet and not let herself be seen in public with Michael.  That was it.  A different liaison was not appointed, and Danielle was allowed to continue living in his home.
And then there’s this clip also from the CPS report:
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I think the shout out at the end is awesome.  “Mr. Stamp is very supportive of his daughter.”  

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The Claims were ruled out by CPS in Maryland because Alyx refused to talk to the investigator about it.  Since she made no allegations to the worker, they had nothing to investigate.  As for Texas, it was not “ruled out.”  Rather, they had to do an administrative close because they did not have jurisdiction.  As I said, we have that CPS record, and in it, it was stated that they had concerns for Alyx’s well being if she returned to MD.  As for not letting them talk, Charlie has kept almost every text conversation between him and Danielle for years.  We can show that there were phone calls.  In fact, there was a week during this time frame where Danielle requested to talk to Alyx more than the set twice a week, which Charlie accommodated.  I also think it’s important to point out that Alyx went home during the CPS investigation.  Not only did Charlie allow Danielle and Alyx to talk, but he returned Alyx while the investigation was still ongoing.  This first one is so you can see the CPS timeframe.
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So last week of August is when CPS got involved.  Here are just a few instances we can prove where Alyx and Danielle talked after that.

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These are just a few that we can prove.  We also had arranged to have Alyx webcam with her step dad every week, since he was still stationed in Nebraska.
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At no time did we keep Danielle and Alyx from talking.  In fact, we had to force Alyx to talk to her mom.  She would scream, cry, and sob, throwing herself on the floor, saying her mom didn’t love her, that her mom hurt her, and that she never wanted to see her mom again.  It was horrible to see.

Anyway, Danielle isn’t worried about Charlie being a bad dad.  She left Alyx with Charlie for 8 months in 2011 for deployment, left her with us for 5 months for personal reasons in 2012, then again for 6 months in 2013 while she did a school program in Fl.  She had permission to take Alyx with her, but she didn’t think she could hack it with Alyx.  And there’s this delightful text conversation.
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I think that covers most of it.  I’m sure you’re probably thinking to yourselves “She could have summed all that up without turning it into a novel,” but I have to admit, sometimes I feel like maybe I’m just blowing things out of proportion and Danielle really isn’t that bad.  After dealing with all this for a while, it’s starting to sound normal, so I really want you guys to actually read this stuff so you can make an opinion based on just facts and not simply my description.  We’re just at a loss on what we can do for her.  CPS told me in 2013 that they don’t get involved when it comes to emotional abuse, and the Air Force couldn’t care less.  And as for trying to get custody, we’ve been told that unless Alyx is obviously suffering because of her mom’s behavior, like flunking school and unable to make friends, there was no way a court would consider letting Charlie be the primary custodian.  So that’s not an option.  We just need advice on how we can help her grow up emotionally healthy in a home with a mother that tells her it’s ok to be angry, lie, cheat, and manipulate.  Brian told Charlie that, while Danielle claims her temper is better, it very much is not.

Anyway, if you guys have read this far, thank you so much for taking the time.  I’m sorry it was so long.  I guess I also worry about you not believing us or thinking we’re exaggerating.  Everyone claims to have the crazy ex, so I worry about looking like we’re just out to slander Danielle.  We’re just really worried about Alyx.  Let me know what you think!